I keep telling myself “go to bed early”. But it’s 2 am and here I am sitting in my desk procrastinating. Worrying that Thursday’s gone and no post has been finished or posted. Gosh some days are tough. Today was good enough, but the last couple of weeks? Tough. And even though I have so many posts lined up with interesting themes, today I just want to share my thoughts as they come, no filter, no theme, no game. Just my thoughts. I used to write poetry and poetic prose, and in the latest years I just stopped. And sure, I used to do it in Portuguese, which comes way easier to me than English, but one’s got to try. Sometimes one’s just got to try. And this is me, trying. Trying and failing, trying and failing. But isn’t that life? And life is tough. As I said, here I am just sharing my thoughts as they come. No filter, no theme, no game. Just my thoughts. And lately it’s just been tough. The baby was ill, which made him annoying, which made me edgy and made me cry. Because I am trying but some days I just fail. And that’s OK, we all do. But we all feel frustrated when we fail, and that’s why we cry. That’s why I cry. And then I cry because I’m crying and it’s a vicious circle. I get frustrated for being frustrated. And then I’m OK. Waves of emotions running through my body, just like everybody else. Gosh, this sounds so pretentiously deep, when it definitely isn’t meant to be so and probably fails deeply. But hey! Try and fail. Try again. Fail and try again. And understand that sometimes that’s all there is until you succeed. As even after that moment you will fail and try again. In the meantime I’m trying to get better at this mum thing I got into. He seems happy so I think I’m doing fine.
Hug,
Millia
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